A few days ago, I was feeling a bit blue. My body was out of sorts. My mind was, too. I was having a hard time shaking the unsettled and sad feeling that had lingered for days. I had been kind of flirting with this nagging feeling that I call my “woe is me” feeling. You know the kind — when you start thinking the universe is against you, when your family is ignoring you, your friends aren’t your friends, when you feel like most things aren’t worth the trouble and you’re … just … plain … feeling … crappy about everything. You think things that aren’t really true, but you convince yourself that you’re not worth much even though you know better than to be so unkind to yourself. Well, I had been trying to shake this woeful feeling — because I know it’s just my mind wandering in the wrong direction — but had decided I wasn’t being very successful at it.
I woke up one morning really early. Like pre-dawn early. Like VERY pre-dawn early. When I checked the status of the ocean tides and the sunrise, I realized I had just enough time to catch the sunrise and walk the beach … if I hurried my butt out of bed.
Once at the beach, I walked for a long time, sometimes meditating and saying prayers, sometimes just walking in silence and enjoyment of the moment. I took a photo of the sunrise. It was lovely. I walked some more and thought of my family, my life, and wondered to myself what the universe might have in store for me in the days and years to come. That’s when I saw something pink, sandwiched in between some rocks. I wondered what it was. When I got close, I realized it was a pink balloon that had been filled with helium but was now approaching its end of life and had somehow drifted down into the rocks.
I thought of my niece, Molly, who loved pink things. It brought both joy and sadness to mind. Joy for the sweet soul she had grown to be at 13 years of age and sadness for the fact that she left this world far too soon. I walked on and said a prayer for her beautiful young soul.
Then I walked back to the parking lot, but before I got to my car, I noticed a truck with lots of decals on it. And there was the (heart) Molly decal!
I was so stunned to see it, and yet, I was not surprised. The universe speaks to us sometimes in unexpected ways. This was a wake up wink. Before I walked on, I stopped and took a quick photo. And then I turned to my right and looked at the beautiful sun continuing to rise in the sky. Suddenly I noticed the license plate on the car, too! It said “faith.” Wink, wink.
And just like that, I smiled and, remembering how I’d been feeling the night before, I mentally gathered what was left of my woe-is-me feelings and threw them away… because who needs to feel woe-is-me when the universe speaks so clearly?
O SON OF MAN! For everything there is a sign. The sign of love is fortitude under My decree and patience under My trials.
(Excerpt from The Hidden Words of Baha’u’llah)
We all choose what we believe. I choose to believe there is a greater wheel that turns in life, a greater Source of energy and freedom and life. It is the Source that nurtures us when our soul is tired, when we’ve nearly given up hope. The photo evidence above was all I needed that morning to remind me to pay attention to the little things and not get caught up in my own internal drama — and to be ever so thankful for the moment. Sometimes the little things can be what Molly’s mom calls “God winks,” and we must be attentive and mindful enough to not walk right by them.